Pesky Neighborhood Kids

What’s to be done when summertime family routines have been exploded by the invasion of pesky neighborhood kids? These are NOT the children that ring the doorbell before entering your home, ask before opening the frig, and go home politely when dismissed for lunch. We are talking about those children who are more likely to have boisterous conduct, unruly behavior, and personalities that grate against the grain. If this is a problem you are facing, immediately set some definitive parameters to meet your needs. There are several ways to approach this challenge.

1) Set New Rules. Children tend to repeat what you say and so it’s better not to declare, "This is a big problem for me and I don’t like having so many pesky kids around." Put a positive spin on it and suggest, "We are going to initiate a new plan to better enjoy our summertime friends. Here are several new rules which will make things better for our family."

2) Open Door Policy. It works very well to have friends share time your children, but only after a set time every day. Decide when to begin your "open door policy." This might be as late as 10-11 a.m. if your children have housework to finish, dishes to do, the piano to practice, and summer homework to complete. If neighborhood kids call, teach your children to say, "Our family doesn’t have friends over until after 11 a.m. I’ll ask if you can come over then.

3) Can’t Play Sign. Sometimes, an additional "Can’t Play" sign can be posted on the front door to alleviate having to answer the door over and over again. Consider hanging this sign on your Christmas wreath holder to keep it up and away from eager fingers. Of course, the first few times you will have to respond to the doorbell and explain that when this sign is on the door, it means please don’t ring the doorbell as there are no exceptions!

4) One Friend Policy. If you have a large family or have a short capacity for noise, it proves helpful to let each child in your family have one friend over at a time. Children can also inform friends at the beginning of the visit how long they will be able to play. This keeps parameters on an otherwise challenging state of affairs.

5) Please Ask Permission. As with the previous situations, rules should be established about behavior. It seems reasonable to have all neighborhood children use the doorbell and ask to come in the first time they enter the home. Your children should ask permission to let them play. All children should seek consent to get food from the pantry or frig. Lastly, your children should ask to leave home and go elsewhere.

6) Quiet Time. Have a certain part of each day that is set aside for quiet time. This siesta, usually one-two hours after lunch, is when your children are left to themselves to do quiet activities in their bedrooms such as reading or playing with their toys. This quiet time allows you to do something alone, too. There should be no friends, no interruptions, and no phone calls. The house is kept relatively quiet! This provides a respite from the hectic infighting and traumatic interplay that is so much a part of living on top of each other during long summer days. When the "siesta" is done, back come the friends, out go the kids for a splash through the sprinklers, and up comes Mom to return to her home management duties. Everyone is refreshed and ready to finish out the day. Try it before you laugh. It really works!

7) Don’t Be the Local Restaurant. Gently shoo all friends from your home before you begin preparations for meals unless previous commitments have been made. This keeps the food budget down and your personal routines more in control. If you desire to have an occasional friends’ picnic, invite children to come on a certain day and time to share a meal with your family.

8) Did You Know? Set this plan in place by informing every child that comes into the home during the next week (when they first arrive) of your new plan. "Did you know we have some new rules?" This avoids later embarrassment when you have to tell them to "its time to leave" or discipline when they eat your food without permission. Friends for your children are such an important part of summertime fun. But always, yes always, it is also good to have parameters that limit and restrain so everyone feels in control, there is some quiet time each day, and the standards of your home are honored. Good luck and happy friendshipping!