Getting the Homework Done

One of the many concerns of parents, and sometimes grandparents, aunts and uncles, is getting homework done in a timely manner. Just as you are wrapping up summer and getting supplies purchased for school, this deep worry tends to settle into your mind. How will they do this year? Is there anything more you can do to help them? The answer is a resounding YES!

1) Set up a place, quiet and secluded (but within your ever watchful supervision) where your younger children can do their homework. Older children and teenagers won’t need as much immediate supervision, but will do well to have their own, private study area complete with all the aids that increase the likelihood of studying well: a desk, drawers for paper supplies, bookshelves, a sturdy chair, and a good light.

I know that some families have a quiet hour after school when the kitchen table is the “homework” table for younger children, but the rules include no talking, no face-making, and no silly noises. In other words, there is a serious attempt to keep them focused on their work. Older children retired to their individual rooms or study areas to focus on their school commitments.

When the homework is ready to be checked, this mother quietly talks to the younger children in the same room, but a far corner, about what has been done right and wrong. After making corrections, the children are free to leave the “homework” table and pursue other, more attractive play activities.

As time passes, the success of this mother’s children has proven to be exceptional in school. They return day after day with mostly correct homework, thus gaining confidence that learning happens in their life two times over: once at school and again with their personal tutor, their own mother.

For as long as they are willing, teenagers also bring their homework to be check by one of these parents, thus insuring that four eyes have looked at the work. This increases the chances of correct work being handed in.

I know other parents who have found the incredible advantage of a personal desk in the child’s bedroom. This is very helpful for homework and other paper projects to their own specific area. With a small overhead bookshelf, personal office supplies, and a good light, homework time also becomes a time to be alone, to think, to wonder, and to dream (which sometimes isn’t exactly the idea). But if the child is left in his room until the homework is done and can’t do anything until then, they soon get to the task.

2) Have a regular time for homework. I know some parents who let their children play with friends for an hour after school lets out and then the family gathers back home for homework. This tends to get out the wiggles, refresh their minds, and make them more likely to get it done expediently.

Other parents find that it is better to feed their children a snack, pull out the books, and get the homework done before any friends are allowed into the house or the children are allowed to go out and play.

3) Motivate with before… Children will do little, if anything, without some motivation that will keep their energy up through the process of homework. It is helpful to always remind them of something wonderful, lovely, exciting, or interesting that will follow.

“We will watch a short video when you are done!”

“I will serve an extra half piece of cake to everyone who gets their homework done and corrected before Dad gets home!”

“You may have John over when you homework is done!”

You get the pattern.

Some children need more supervision and encouragement than others. I know one mother who had a child that struggled with reading way past the normal time for children to “get it.” However, she patiently worked each day with the child, helping her and motivating her with extra attention and encouragement. It took longer to get the homework done than most of her other children, but once this child understood reading, she turned out to be the best and fastest one of them all. She hit her stride and off she went to become more independent, self-motivating, and creative than her mother could have ever expected.

So set a time, define a homework place, get creative with motivators, and be patient with the “slower” ones. Soon homework routines will become a natural part of your children’s days and they will understand that you mean business when you say it is “homework” time. And, they will be all the better students for your diligence.

Good luck this next school year! I know, because I have been there, that every day you help them get through their homework is one day closer to them turning out to be mature, delightful, creative adults who will thank you frequently for being there during this critical time of their lives.


Photos from sxc.hu. Used with permission of hvaldez1, samlevan.
©2010 Marie Calder Ricks/www.houseoforder.com

Setting Summertime Clothing Standards

Today I would like to share several ideas about ordering your life with summertime clothing standards. I do not particularly care, as we discuss this, what your standards of modesty are. (Well, actually I do hope they will be high standards, but I will leave those decisions to your best judgment.) What I would like to encourage, however, is to order your family’s lifestyle so that there are set clothing standards!

This helps children in three ways. First, children tend to grow up more morally safe when standards are sent, because in their own minds there are barriers of behavior, dress, language, and action that have been imposed by their family. These standards help them self-impose standards of their own. Deciding upon family clothing standards is a first, good step in that direction. Second, because standards have been set, children learn there is some clothing that is appropriate and other clothing that is inappropriate from your family's point of view. It is important to talk about these things before your daughter or your son brings home the first piece of clothing that raises your husband's eyebrows and causes your own mouth to drop. Third, your children will likely push against those family standards more than once and it is important there are carefully clarified parental parameters and consequences for non-compliance.

May I suggest that if you are married and have a spouse, you discuss what modest clothing standards mean to both of you? Then continue the discussion with your whole family so the standards are set before the summertime clothing is purchased, borrowed, or worn. If you do not want your girls to have midriff exposure, they should know this is a family standard before they bring home a piece of clothing that shows that intriguing piece of skin. If you want his pants to be a certain length, the family standards should be discussed before purchases are made. If clothing is to be modest no matter the position of a person, this should be discussed so shopping expeditions include leaning over in front of a dressing room mirror to ensure modesty can be maintained.

As you approach family dress standards, you and your spouse may want to talk about what your standards will be: how low or high will necklines be, will exposed cleavage be in your best interests, and how short will the shorts be? Will see-through or partially see-through fabric be allowed? What about sleeveless tops, two-piece swimsuits, and short shorts? Will off-the-hip pants and skirts be acceptable?

After a frank discussion with your spouse, discuss each clothing standard with your children. Following this second discussion, it is useful to write down the family’s clothing standards, have everyone sign it, and post it in the home. This will order you and your family's life from the inside and out so that each member knows what your clothing standards are in easy-to-state terms. It will help your children feel safe. It will help you be more comfortable around your teenage children, and it will teach and train them to respond appropriately when shopping and when dressing. It is always easier to set standards before the issue becomes an issue than to wait and have to cajole, persuade, or endure!

After standards are set, there will be some wonderful, growing experiences as children, teenagers, and sometimes adults attempt to supersede the standards or excuse a certain piece of clothing, just this once. Sit down conversations about the specifics of the standards and how they will be applied in your home are sure to happen. It is useful to include in your family clothing standards that a questionable piece of clothing may not be worn until such a discussion has taken place. And, if clothing is worn against the standards that have been set, it is should also be discussed how disobedience is to be handled. Again, working through as many scenarios as possible and discussing consequences as part of setting the family clothing standards, will reduce and often eliminate surprises. It will also go a long way to keeping your family morally safe!

Finally, it is useful, while on the topic of family clothing standards, to also discuss practices of modesty in the home. Are family members to keep modestly dressed at all times? If so, does everyone have a bathrobe for those quick trips when clothing needs to be retrieved from another room? In addition, what changes need to be made to accommodate these new habits? Do hooks need to be installed in the bathroom and also on the rear of bedroom doors? Do containers for underwear need to be put in bathroom cupboards? What will work best for your family’s needs now that clothing standards have been set and clarified?

Setting high clothing standards and modesty habits during everyday living will go far to help with virtuous living. May we all look inward and make the changes that will benefit our families for a wonderful, but modest summer!

©2009 Marie Calder Ricks/www.houseoforder.com