Today I would like to share a tender story from one of my new friends. When she was a little girl, her mother spent hours canning fruit and making jam. They always had homemade bread and her mom crafted beautiful dresses for both her and an older sister. When she was in seventh grade, her father lost his job, her mother went back to work to support the family, and her sister, who was seven years older, went away to college. During the next few years, her mother didn’t have time to do those "homemaking things" anymore, meaning canning fruit, making jam, and teaching Sarah how to bake bread.
And so even today, Sarah, who is a mother herself and also works outside the home, has never done any of these things and does not yet have the skills to do them. While her current circumstances do not allow full-time presence in her home nor the capacity to do all that her mother did when she was a young child, yet the yearning is there to experience the fragrance, feel the fabric, and look through freshly canned jelly.
So today I ask a question: What skills do you want to pass on to your daughters and sons? And if these skills are important to you, how can you organize your life to get them passed along? I’m not suggesting a major change in your lifestyle nor adding pressure to your already tight schedule. I more suggesting an experience or two like Sarah longs for: Putting yeasty dough into bread pans, stirring hot juices as pectin is added, or using sharp scissors to fashion a simple article of clothing. Just once in a while, maybe just once in a lifetime.
I guess I’m thinking about the holiday season coming up in a few months. Instead of spending quite so much money on things our family members will simply own, could we give them a tool, a certificate "good for" teaching them a skill associated with that tool, and then actually teaching them (or, in some cases, learning together)? You see, from Sarah’s point of view, she would have loved to have had just one hour, just one time with her mother learning how to put up jam or make homemade bread. Or maybe even just shared an hour with her the learning the techniques of canning fruit or cutting out a pattern to make a skirt.
What do you wish to pass on to the next generation and how can you order your life to spend an hour this week or even a Sunday afternoon in the next few weeks planning how to pass on those legacies most dear to your heart? I know it is important to me that I learned certain skills directly from my own parents. I have pulled steaming peach jars from Mom’s canner and sliced bread she let me fashion snugly in the pans. I have repaired a clunky lawnmower with my father and learned how he tied a simple knot to keep tarps in place. Today, I know it is also important for me to pass on sentimentally useful skills to the next generation.
So think about it, and in the mix-up, the muddle, and the mess of the months of September, October, and November ask yourself some important questions, ponder on how to proceed, and then plan to share. We must pass this legacy of homemaking skills (whatever they are and however we perceive they will best help our posterity) from generation to generation. Happy jamming!
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
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5 comments:
Thank you for a wonderful blog. I appreciate the tender reminders of days' past and things learned. We hope to pass on to the next generation -- things meaningful to us. Thanks!
What great things to think about! When my kids are helping with a project, I try to remember to explain the "how" and "why", but it's so much easier and quicker not to bother.
Thanks for this awesome blog.
I have now had a few days to really ponder the thoughts that you wrote. I was thinking about when my oldest was 4 years old (the age I remember him most at). I remember all of the activities we did together...reading scriptures, going to story time at the library, baking (learning math skills while baking), science centers, zoo, walks & collections, exploring weather, swimming, bike riding, t-ball, computer labs, bedtime stories, etc. I just wanted him to know & do it all! I worked so hard. Now one of my kids will soon be 4 yrs old. I am tired. I am living in circumstances where I need to run a part-time business. I bake out of necessity, & I will go to the library if a friend invites me. PBS seemed to be doing a great job teaching the ABC's. I guess I justified that I went way overboard with the oldest child...or did I? I think that you made a great point when you shared the story of your friend. My soon to be 4 year old is just as deserving of my talents. I have taught some of my kids to sew, yet others I have not. These "things" that I can do, are great ways to develop a bonding with my kids. I never thought about the effect on my future grandkids. I already do many things, I just need to take the extra 2 minutes and add teaching to the mix. I also had never thought of how the younger kids might feel. This was a very inspiring blog for me. I truly needed to ponder this, because having read this will have a chain reaction on my children. Thank you again for your thoughts…please keep sharing them. (Sorry this is so long!)
Thank you for the lovely idea about the holiday certificate! Sewing clothing is a favorite pasttime of mine. I recently helped my 7-year-old daughter sew a very simple doll -sized quilt made out of a few large blocks. While my daughter sat in front of me, slowly sewing her straight seams, I had many of the same thoughts you wrote in your post. It was a wholesome feeling to teach my daughter an important skill that I take so much joy in. And the special hug of thanks my daughter gave me was worth the patience and time I spent with her!
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